Inside the Head of Brian Sabean

[klaiggeb]

What follows below is a mental conversation recorded by the Diesengeist 4000XR, secretly implanted into the head of Brian Sabean by his wife for a disgruntled fan.

But first, an explanation of the Diesengeist 4000XR.

The Disengeist 4000XR is the final, and most accurate, mental thought reader ever produced.

It follows the Disengeist 3000XP which, in 2016, was planted into the heads of 15 random politicians around various California areas.

The Disengeist 4000XR was only developed because at first it was thought that the 3000XP wasn't working, as the only things recorded were: Spanky and Alfalfa, Styme and Darla; wish I had a big watermelon, wish I had a big watermelon; Happy birt' day Mr. Hood, happy birt' day to ya... and finally, Nick, nack, paddy-whack, give the dog a bone... which, at the time, seemed to be gibberish.

Upon further investigation however, the Disengeist 3000XP WAS working quite well, and it turned out that what was previously believed to be gibberish were actually the only intelligible thoughts coming from the heads of those 15, random politicians.


What follows, then, are the thoughts of Brian Sabean recorded this past Sunday night on the Muy Secret-O Disengeist 4000XR:

Okay. We've won 6 of 10.

We could be on a roll now.

Scoring runs, starting to hit, pitching coming back.

Seems almost everyone bought my "building-block year" story.

That's good. That's very good.

Got an okay offer on McCutchen but I'd better hold off.

If we win Monday, I'll wait until Tuesday to pull the trigger.

If we win Tuesday, I'll wait until Wednesday.

NIck, nack, paddy whack...where the heck did that come from?

If we win on Wednesday...I'm screwed.


We're screwed.


If I trade McCutchen, it'll look like I've thrown in the towel.

Can't have that!

But that'll sure add credence to my "building-block" story.

You bet your bippy!



But if I don't...

If I don't...

What was I just saying?

Oh, yeah, give a dog a bone...

What the...?

Gotta do something.

Gotta make a move.

Gotta...gotta go to the can...



After the ensuing toilet flushes, either the Disengeist 4000XR stopped working or Brian fell asleep and his brain went into Politician Mode.

If I find out more, I'll report back to ya'all.

[Islandboagie]

Brian Sabean has never been the kissing babies type. He tells the fans how he sees it, and often the fans don't like it, so they claim he's lying or hiding something. Baer is the politician of the group, and to a lesser extent, Bobby Evans is too. You've created some alter- ego Brian Sabean and begun you're whipping of someone who doesn't exist.

[sfgdood]

Just because Sabean is a gruff talking east coaster does not mean he's as honest as Abe Lincoln. I think when the team became a dynasty, there came the urgency to appease the masses. It became a priority to always at least appear as though you're going for the Brass Ring every year. The problem is NOW it is not possible to have success with the same old players. And you're not doing the fans or the team any favors by perpetuating the delusion. Fans are smart enough to understand that this team needs an overhaul. Yes, attendence may suffer a bit for a while but your payroll wont be as high either. And Randy will be able to attend more games in better seats

[klaiggeb]

Brian Sabean has never been the kissing babies type. He tells the fans how he sees it, and often the fans don't like it, so they claim he's lying or hiding something. Baer is the politician of the group, and to a lesser extent, Bobby Evans is too. You've created some alter- ego Brian Sabean and begun you're whipping of someone who doesn't exist.

***BOLY SAYS***

Two things:

1, the piece I wrote was FUNNY! Nick, nack paddy whack coming into his head... just like the politicians... I'm sorry, pahdnah, that was well written.

2, I guess you're okay with him never saying this was a building block year, going out and getting players to make a run for it, and then, when it didn't work out, saying something else.

I guess you and I have different ways of looking at honor and integrity.

Me? When my plan screws up, I fess up and admit it.

What I do in my life, what I did in the classroom.

I screw up, I own it.